Friday, February 2, 2018

Justified

So last night in my usual routine of being up because my thoughts are rampant for the upcoming 2018 UIL Concert/Sight Reading competition.  If you don't know what this is, it's a massive test of your orchestra.  Of how you teach them and how they play.  This is the last month of prep, this is the last stretch before we go before six judges to be told how my kiddos play.  And friends, it wrecks me every year.  I am up at night worrying going over ways I can teach this better, thinking of measures 86-87 that my celli and basses did not play.   My desire is for them to succeed and then I worry over the fact that it could be considered pride, and then I pray about it, and then I tell myself it's in God's hands and then I once again go back to those dang measures 86-87.  It's a terrible crazy cycle of worry, anxiety, and self doubt.

Then it hit me.  My goodness, I absolutely love my students.  I love their determination, focus, and their willingness to be stretched.  I love how we can laugh when it's stressful or when they do something that no one else can do.  I love being their teacher, and I'm so grateful that God placed me in their hearts because I am so blessed by each and everyone of them.

You see, I forgot a crucial thing in my midst of worry.  I'm not justified by man.  Friends, let me say it again  I Am Not Justifed By Man, and neither are you.  We all fall short, we all have mistakes, but we are justified by God by his grace as a gift, through Jesus Christ.  A beautiful thing to be held dear in my heart during this time.  Hopefully, it can be held dear in your heart too.

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