Vulnerable

Todd and I try to live by the living breathing Words of the Bible.  We try our hardest to honor Him in every way.  Do we sin, oh yes we do, do we make mistakes, yep.  But in everything, we try to honor and glorify God.  Even when the choices we make will effect our family and the people around us.  A couple of months back we made a decision for our family that had such hard recoil that like a shotgun left bruises on our souls.

Friends, I feared our decisions for months, I pleaded and cried to God that these were family why do we have to do this.  But each day things were revealed and God’s voice was evident.  When we finally made the decision I was wrecked.  Words were said from friends that could never be taken back, questions were brought up that made us question our faith.  Our kids cried and we couldn’t explain to them why because they were too young to understand.

To say that I was wrecked and devasted was an understatement.  For the first time anger reached into my heart and I asked myself why am a Christian?  Why when the people who are supposed to support and love instead turn a cold shoulder and say cruel things.  I didn’t want to go to church, I wanted to ignore the body of Christ.  I hurt, I actually still hurt.

I’m opening up not for a show of hate but to say there are people like us who are hurting because they tried to honor God in the decisions they make.  If you’re here like me, hurting because of choices that were made no matter they are, there is a Father God out there wrapping his loving arms around you.  Talk to him give him the ugly details don’t ever run away, run to him.

I don’t know what the future holds for us, I don’t know even now how I’m going to deal with this.  But I do know that God loves me, that he’ll never not speak to me, or cancel plans.  I’m loved by him in my imperfections, in my hurts, and mistakes and guess what, so are you.